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Submitted on
September 12, 2010
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My dearest, dearest diary,
I hurt myself today.
My daddy slapped my mommy,
my mommy wouldn't stay.
My daddy smashed a bottle,
with smelly water inside,
I picked up one of the shards,
and ran it down my thigh.

My dearest, dearest diary,
Today I kissed a girl,
She screamed and was so angry,
She pulled my yellow curls.
My teacher called me stupid,
My classmates laughed and ran,
Said 'a prince should get his girlie,
and a princess get her man.'

My dearest, dearest diary,
Fifth grade isn't all that bad.
We've gotten some new subjects,
we've never before had.
I play the piano splendidly,
I never miss a tone,
but when I make tomato soup,
I make it all alone.

My dearest, dearest diary,
I've started seventh grade.
My classmates are no different,
but we've got this teacher, Dave.
He looks at me intently,
whenever he teaches our class,
whenever I give him my homework,
or bump into him when I pass.

My dearest, dearest diary,
I'm really, really scared!
Dave follows me around sometimes;
I think it's really weird!
He knows just where my house is;
don't knock on anymore, please!
Luckily, I'm starting eighth grade,
and mommy's called the police.

My dearest, dearest diary,
oh, tenth grade is just hell!
No one really likes me,
and trust me, I can tell.
The world is mad and stupid,
my male classmates are jocks,
my female ones, silicon babes,
who my all my best friends mock.

My dearest, dearest diary,
my family is crap.
Daddy, you don't own me,
and mommy, shut your trap!
Dad didn't like my blue hair,
he's such a stupid man,
he took me to the hair dresser,
and now I'm blonde again.

My dearest, dearest diary,
now Maxi moved abroad.
Dad won't let me contact her,
wants me to 'quit my emo-mode.'
He don't know a thing 'bout my life!
He never cares anyway!
At least I'm not lonely again,
Catherine talked with me today.

My dearest, dearest diary,
Secondary school is through!
High school is so exciting,
though everything is new.
I bought myself a French purse,
Catherine thinks it looks cute.
When I came late into class today,
all of the boys went mute.

My dearest, dearest diary,
I… Is this really me?
A blonde bitch with an attitude
was not who I wanted to be.
I embarrassed John, the class geek,
broke his glasses and his cell,
because he broke my mascara,
but I don't feel very well…

My dearest, dearest diary,
my boyfriend's such an ass!
He treats me like I'm fragile,
like a statue made of glass!
He isn't really pretty,
and, honestly, he's dumb,
but Mary, when she goes by,
I blush and bite my thumb.

My dearest, dearest diary,
Catherine and I fought.
She asked me what I thought of her,
I told her what I thought.
I never wanted to bully anyone,
I never was a doll,
I didn't want a prince,
but a princess for my ball.

My dearest, dearest diary,
I'm shunned by everyone,
Catherine thinks I'm too freakish,
Maxi thinks I'm too blonde.
Mary hangs with Catherine,
I never had a chance.
Now she's taking my ex-boyfriend,
as her date for the dance.

My dearest, dearest diary,
my school grades dropped again.
Now dad says that I'm hopeless,
my mom agrees with him.
The teacher says I'll dump this way,
my second high school year,
I'm scared, I don't want to go home;
that's not what dad wants to hear.

My dearest, dearest diary,
I cannot take no more.
To my parents, I'm a burden,
to my classmates, I'm a 'whore.'
I know a way to end this,
My dad's got a hunting knife,
One swift stab is what it'll take,
for me to end my life.

My dearest, dearest diary,
this fucking, fucking hurts.
And when I try to take a breath,
the pain gets all the worse.
I'm sorry mom, I failed you,
and daddy, don't be mad.
I'm sorry I couldn't be the daughter
that I wish you'd had.
NO, this is NOT about me or ANYONE I KNOW. I'm not even feeling the slightest down at the moment. <___< I just like to write about morbid themes, okay? I admit it, I finally do! :blush:
The inspiration to this came so suddenly that I don't know how it did.

I guess this is supposed to be a conflicted girl's life, which I hope that none of my friends or watchers lead.

...Yeah, this is the first deviation in a long time that I haven't got anything to say about! ^^;
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:iconlostarling:
Lostarling Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2012  Student General Artist
This reminds me of myself... not the events or story, but the themes.
Reply
:icontimberclipse:
TimberClipse Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011  Professional Filmographer
Hello!

Just wanted to let you know that we have featured you in the deviantART birthdAy Countdown!

Have a wonderful day!

=TimberClipse
Reply
:iconsillywq:
SillyWQ Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Aww! Thank you so very much! :heart: My day is definitely wonderful now! :la:
Reply
:icontimberclipse:
TimberClipse Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011  Professional Filmographer
:hug:
Reply
:iconhitsumaru-love:
hitsumaru-love Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
"Keeping a poetry diary isn't a crime!"~ a half-orc ninja

This is like: WOAH.
I think I have to go think a bit now.
Reply
:iconsillywq:
SillyWQ Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
...:|
WTF, I don't want to read an orc-ninja's poemdiary! Where is that quoted from? xDD

...You have no idea how happy your comment made me, 'cause I have a really strange sence of humor. xDDDDDD

But really, thank you~♥ I'm glad I'm able to evoke thought sometimes.
Reply
:iconhitsumaru-love:
hitsumaru-love Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
[link]
Order of the Stick. Hooray for random crack comics.
Reply
:iconsillywq:
SillyWQ Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
xD I love random comics! I'll read some of it, I hope! >D
Reply
:iconmchemfan:
mchemfan Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2010  Student Digital Artist
Wow, just freaking wow. This is amazing. This really pulled at my heartstrings.
Reply
:iconsillywq:
SillyWQ Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm glad you like! I really hoped to get emotion into the poem♥
Reply
:iconxtoushirou-kurosakix:
xToushirou-Kurosakix Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2010  Student Writer
Oh man this is moving... Amazing and just... wow. Don't worry, I get into moods like this too - my friends call me depressed sometimes cause of the dark things I write...
Reply
:iconsillywq:
SillyWQ Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:icontearplz: SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS ME~~! Yeah, you don't have to be in a bad mood to write dark things, right? It's weird, but hey, our minds work in the weirdest ways~

Thank you~u~♥ I'm glad you like!
Reply
:iconnille-san:
Nille-San Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I really, really, really like it!
Reply
:iconsillywq:
SillyWQ Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you! :D It means a lot, coming from you! :iconglompage:
Reply
:iconnille-san:
Nille-San Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Your very much welcome :3 :hug:
Reply
:icondeeryme:
DeeryMe Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is intense and powerful yet with a real tone of innocent helplessness throughout! I really like this :nod:
And yes, definitely very morbid!
Reply
:iconsillywq:
SillyWQ Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:glomp: Thank you very much♥ I really wanted to portray how a really innocent, girly character could be broken down by the smallest things in life~

:giggle: I almost feel bad for having taken a liking to writing dark stuff, while I don't usually like to read it.
Reply
:iconwhereeveryougo:
whereeveryougo Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2010
Oh this is absolutely lovely. Lots of emotion and so full of the truth; there's so many people living like this, and not everyone can get through it.

It really got to me today too, because I watched Medium last night, where there was this guy stating something like... when people jump off a bridge, they don't think that anything can be fixed, but when they're two thirds down they realize that they can fix everything -just not the fact that they just jumped.
Reply
:iconsillywq:
SillyWQ Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you! There is, and it's pretty sad that a world which has come so far technologically can't evolve as much emotionally...

That's a really good quote, and true! It's really something to always consider♥
Reply
:iconwhereeveryougo:
whereeveryougo Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2010
You're very welcome! Agreed, agreed! It's amazing how we just can't accept.

It really is ;*
Reply
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